“I wish there was an instruction manual that told you how to get old,” expressed Selwyn as we enjoyed a cup of coffee and pastry outside of West Won Bakery. After catching up after a few months of being too busy to meet up and conduct our usual friendly banter, something that came up with Selwin was that he was struggling with how the advancement of age had imposed challenges on his life. Being thirty years older than me and venturing into his seventies, some of the stories he shared included searching for new hobbies, sharing experiences of pets and dear friends that had passed away, and waking up in the morning with a few new aches and pains in his joints. As a forty-year-old man who is venturing into another decade of observing the evolution of society and seeing how my body and mind operate at a different rate than where I was in my twenties, I could relate to Selwin’s comments. Even though my life has only seen a sliver of what Selwin had experienced in his ventures, I appreciated his comments on how the aging process offers new experiences to our psychological, emotional, and physical well-being.
Selwin shared that he was staying busy with his hobbies including gardening, reading books, and exercising. He also mentioned that he had a little too much going on in his life as well. New additions to his home, participating in a few side jobs, or clearing out time in his calendar to attend doctor and dentist appointments were just a few things that kept him busy to the point where managing these tasks might have felt to be a little too much. He mentioned that shaving some of these tactics off so he wasn’t so busy was one of the best ways to ensure he didn’t get overwhelmed. Selwin didn’t share with me directly how he began to have more on his plate that he could manage as he ventured into his seventies. However, I had a feeling that his success in helping people, creating successful projects, and being proficient in his business endeavors created quite a task list of things to get accomplished. As we shared funny stories of the past that made us laugh so hard our eyes watered, there were a few moments I noticed his capacity to tend to his usual task list became more work than pleasure.
Along with Selwin’s presence bringing joy to my day when we catch up and get coffee and pastries every few months, I always looked up to him as a mentor and teacher. I feel these experiences I share with my friends, mentors, and professional accomplices offer invaluable lessons on “how to get old.” For Selwin, he seemed to always have a sense of humor and a hobby, and he exercised regularly.
The trials of balancing financial logistics, experiencing someone’s end of life, or managing physical aches and pains from an age-related condition occur as we progress through each decade of our lives. Wrinkles, arthritis, and observing other people’s struggles are close to inevitable experiences. It’s relatively simple to notice this and shed light upon the challenges degenerative aspects of aging causes toward our productivity and fucntionality. However, spending time on our hobbies, scheduling time to laugh with the people who energize us, and reserving a few hours throughout the week for exercise is more challenging than commenting on the fact that we’re getting old.
Is there a perfect book on “how to get old?” There are plenty of worthwhile pieces of literature and research that support the optimal advancement of age. However, we all have experiences that make us laugh until our sides ache, and tinkering on projects and hobbies that fascinate us is something almost all humans have. Furthermore, taking the time out to set our phones aside for a brief period to give ourselves the gift of a leisurely walk, taking a fitness class with a friend, or following a home-based exercise program gives us time to focus on ourselves. That brief period vacant of social media scrolling text messages, and having a phone more than three feet away from us creates a sense of peace so we can focus on the person we look at in the mirror every morning, ourselves.
Embrace aging with gusto by always having a hobby, find someone you can laugh and smile with, and reserve time throughout your week to exercise. The advancement of age requires a list of logistics that can fill up the halls of the college library. Don’t forget we all can laugh, stay interested, and exercise as life progresses through the years.
Sean McCawley, the founder and owner of Napa Tenacious Fitness in Napa, CA, welcomes questions and comments. Reach him at 707-287-2727, napatenacious@gmail.com, or visit the website napatenaciousfitness.com.
