The Art of Putting on our Underwear and Everyday Functionality

“They all put their underwear the same way,”  my high school football coach proclaimed during his pre-game motivational speech.  This seemingly off-topic comment, a nugget of wisdom from our leader, left my teammates and I pondering its relevance to our upcoming game against Vallejo High School.   We were preparing to face a team known for their elite athletes, who ran sub 4.5 seconds forty-yard dashes and had full-ride scholarships to reputable collegiate football programs.  What could the coach have meant by the way we put our underwear on when compared to our opponents? What did it have to do with our performance on the field?

Let’s delve into the seemingly simple task of putting on a pair of underwear. It’s not just a matter of slipping it on and off.  A set of underwear has a circular entrance and two separate openings for our right and left legs to pass through.  A person must make a decision to either put the right or left leg in through the bigger opening meant for the hips, followed by the second decision to pass the other leg through the hip entry point and to the secondary thigh slot.  Who would’ve thought putting on underpants could be such an intricate task? It’s a task that requires a level of dexterity and coordination that we often take for granted.

What technique do we prefer when equipping our underwear?  Is it sitting on the edge of our bed first thing in the morning before starting the day?  Or, is it the tactic of standing one leg while bending over, grabbing the underwear, lifting the hip to fit one leg in through one of the thigh slots, then repeating with the other leg?  One of these techniques requires advanced spatial awareness, dexterity, coordination, and balance.  Sitting down and sliding one’s leg through the openings removes the need to think about the surroundings and transfer balance from one leg to another.  However, the ability to stand in the middle of a room without any objects to stabilize oneself, bend over at the hips, grab the undergarment with both hands, and efficiently transfer the center of gravity from one foot to the other while simultaneously lifting the thigh, bending the knee, and gliding the feet through the thigh slots requires an intricate computation of neuromuscular coordination and immediate decision making.

Standing on one leg while making decisions to move one or two other extremities is a seemingly simple action for some.  However, for individuals with deconditioned fitness levels, simply putting on a set of undies while standing up can pose a lofty challenge.  Balance can degenerate rapidly if not consistently practiced.  A lack of ability to correct imbalances can threaten functionality, productivity, safety, and overall enjoyment of life.  If putting on a set of underwear is a challenge first thing in the day, one could imagine that other challenging tasks requiring balance won’t be much easier.  Examples that require the mastery of efficient balance levels include stepping up and down stairs, getting in and out of a car, or interacting with our pets, children, or grandkids.  Identifying and correcting imbalances is critically important for a productive, safe, and fulfilling day of life.

If we look at the demands of standing up and sliding our underwear on first thing in the morning, the torso needs to bend over, which requires hamstrings and lower back muscles that are flexible enough to hinge over the hips down to the ground.  To step into the underwear entryway, one foot must be entered at a time, which requires lifting one foot and transferring weight from one to the other.  After both feet are in, the torso is elevated back to a vertical position while simultaneously pulling the undies up, which requires sufficient thigh, hip, and lower back strength.

While putting on your undergarment may appear to be a humorous example of human performance, it’s noteworthy to consider the importance of conducting this action proficiently at this current time and for the rest of our lives.  As time passes, the body is not the same as it once was as an injury-free and spry teenager.  Joint structures and muscular strength may have been altered due to injuries, lifestyle habits, or general age-related imbalances.  Therefore, it’s essential to notice the simple acts, such as putting our underwear on, that can significantly hinder our livelihood if taken away.

Going back to what our coach said about our team having the ability to put our underwear on the same way as our opponents, I think our coach was saying we’re on an even playing ground with our ability as humans.  We wouldn’t have been able to get to the point where we performed organized sports if we had trouble putting our underwear on.  Even though our opponents could run faster than ninety-five percent of our team and probably had more athletic potential, we still had something in common that didn’t make facing off against them too intimidating.

If muscular strength, coordination, or recovery from injury seem to be significant obstacles, focus on mastering the simple movement requirements, such as putting on socks, standing up, or putting on underwear one foot at a time without losing balance. Maintaining optimal performance in these simple movements has the potential to equip us with essential tools and aid us in living long, happy, and strong lives for years to come.

Sean McCawley, the founder and owner of Napa Tenacious Fitness in Napa, CA, welcomes questions and comments. Reach him at 707-287-2727, napatenacious@gmail.com, or visit the website napatenaciousfitness.com.

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